By Grace Shush
Professional drag performer and Omnipod® Ambassador, Grace Shush, shares an interview with their mum – highlighting that a type 1 diabetes diagnosis impacts the whole family. They also include a very important message to the newly diagnosed diabetes community, especially those in a supporting or caregiver role.
*Grace has been paid a fee to create this content.
Anyone who knows me well enough will know that I am very close to my family. I speak to them every day, sometimes multiple times. My family is very small, even including external family members, and we have always lived really close to each other. PLUS! We have that northern mentality of giving you the clothes off our backs if you need them.
I remember being diagnosed with diabetes so well. I remember the moment we found out, the hospital, the nurse, the presents I was brought, and what the doctor in the hospital looked like. But after that, I think all the days just merged into one, and I don’t really remember a lot, given also that I have the worst working memory because of my ADHD. So, I decided to sit down with my mum and ask her a couple of questions about what it was like raising a child with type 1 diabetes. I asked my mum and not my dad because my mum was primarily my caregiver and, by the sounds of it, had to deal with the brunt of most things.
Whenever I meet a child with diabetes or a parent who has a child with diabetes, I always remind them to tell themselves that they are doing enough, especially the child, because I don’t think my mum ever said that to me. Now that we’ve had conversations about it, I think children and parents need to know that they’re doing enough because it isn’t always black and white. It’s a whole spectrum of colour, and sometimes you can be doing things right, but it doesn’t look that way from your readings. Plus, a child should have the time to be a child and not lose their childhood to type 1 diabetes.
Something else I constantly remind myself of when I do things like this, or think about the relationship that my mum and I have now, as I’m in my 30s, is that this is my mother’s first life as much as it’s mine. She isn’t this all-knowing being; she’s making it up every day, the same as I am. I’m really lucky to have the relationship I have with my parents, especially my mum. To me, she’s my absolute ride or die and one of my favourite people in the entire world.
Mum: I was upset. I was angry for you. I just knew what was coming, and I remember it well. We were about to go to the hospital.
Mum: The hardest part was YOU. As a person, you were at that age where you were developing hormonally, and it was really difficult. You didn’t want to be a diabetic. My struggle was a lot of trying to convince you to have your injections, check you glucose levels, follow your routine, and you really did not want to be in that situation.
Mum: Yeah. At one point you said you wanted to die.
Tim: No, I didn’t.
Mum: Yes, you did. You said you didn’t want to be a diabetic anymore, and I was quite fearful at that point that you’d do something… you know.
Tim: You’ve made this up. I don’t remember saying any of this?
Mum: I remember it well. It stuck in my mind. I contacted the paediatric nurse, the one who was your nurse for your diabetes, and she just offered me support. We got through it. It was quite a low period.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, please reach out to a healthcare professional or support service.
Mum: Through your development and growth, I’ve seen how hard it is to achieve a good balance with diabetes. It’s made me think very carefully about my own type 2 diabetes. Before, I didn’t take it seriously enough to want to bother with it, but now I try hard to keep my glucose levels under control.
Mum: I’m more proud of you, really, because you’re the one that puts us on the straight and narrow. You explain things to us; you educate us in a way that even though we’ve been with it for many, many years, you’ve found out so much about it as a person and developed it. You then pass that knowledge on to us.
Mum: Perhaps be more clued up. Find out more about it, and then we could have handled it a little bit better. Maybe be a bit more supportive, maybe? Not just for you, but for me too. I don’t mean type 1, but with my type 2, I was… I wouldn’t say blasé, but I thought, “Oh, it’s not that serious,” and it wasn’t until later in life that I really found out what could happen if you didn’t treat it correctly.
Mum: I think it was when we were in the caravan, and you had high glucose levels. You were sleeping in the awning with your sister, and your glucose level was 32 mmol/L. You were acting so strangely, as if you’d been on drugs almost. You were panicking a little bit, but it was also funny because you were acting so strangely.
Mum: I think it was more about your attitude and how I handled it. Was I giving you the correct advice? Was I being supportive enough? Sometimes I just wanted to be there for you, but maybe I wasn’t always.
Perhaps I was trying to do the right thing when it came to the health side, but I didn’t really think about what was happening mentally, the impact it was having on you as a child.
Mum: We were talking about this the other day. You joined Scouts and you were going on your first camping trip. I thought the camp leaders wouldn’t feed you… So, I sent you off to camp with…
Tim: An entire new box of cereal.
Mum: Yes! Two pints of milk, and ridiculous amounts of snacks.
Tim: Yeah, everyone laughed at me.
Mum: When you went abroad, I even asked the Scout leaders to come to our house. I was concerned you wouldn’t be able to get snacks or treats you needed. And then they said, “Gail, there’s a Tesco next door to the camp.” That was quite a mumsy thing to do.
Mum: I don’t think I could. Because I didn’t class my type 2 as serious enough, I think I would really struggle. You have to do your glucose levels more often than I do. I think I’d find it really, really difficult. I suppose, in a way, I was idle. It was only the introduction of CGMs that actually made me take my glucose levels more seriously.
Tim: So, do you think you could survive a day in my shoes?
Mum: No, I don’t.
Mum: Learn as much as you can. Knowledge is the key. Support your child 100% physically and mentally. You're going to have good days and bad days, and bad days will feel worse, naturally bad, but the good days will be there.