MY UNHEALTHY HABIT: WATCHING THE NUMBERS
Hi. Hey. Hello Everyone. It’s me again. Back at ya with another blog.
But seriously, the other day diabetes was really getting on the nerves, like SO much. I managed to stay calm for a little while but everything seemed to come piling down at me all in one go and it was frustrating. You know in some films where someone starts getting pelted with a load of tennis balls…THAT’S WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO ME.
So basically, I had a mad few days where my glucose were just swinging from high to low constantly and it was getting very frustrating. Now, a few years ago I started this unhealthy obsession with staring at the data from my CGM whenever something like this would happen. I would check what my numbers were, literally every few minutes. It would typically happen more when my glucose were higher than I’d like. I would find myself giving a bolus and just checking them again, like every 5 minutes or so to see whether they were coming down or not.
It was very unnecessary.
It was also becoming very unhealthy because I seemed to be worrying about the numbers like I never had done before.
So, whenever I have bad days now and start worrying about numbers I always think back to my mindset a couple of years ago to make sure I don’t get back into the cycle of obsessing. Back then I decided to have a CGM break, which at the time was TERRIFYING but did the whole world of good.
Although I wasn't using my CGM I was still making sure I was being safe and testing my glucose via a finger prick with my blood glucose monitor. But because you can't see those numbers every minute, you get such a different kind of feeling...ya know? I must have been testing anywhere from 6-8 times a day as an average, maybe more on other days. Testing when I woke up, before I went to bed, before I ate and sometimes in between if I felt like I needed to.
REMEMBER, the numbers DO NOT determine your worth. They don’t tell you whether you’re a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ diabetic. Don’t put yourself down over the numbers; you’re doing the best you can.
Published on 04th January 2020.
By Cally Roberts
I am 22 years old and have been a type one for 12 years. I am currently at University where I am training to become a Children’s Nurse, and one day I hope to become a specialist diabetes nurse and help and support others like myself.
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